Glowing Embers

Charles Dum

Jupiter Movement from The Planets by Gustave Holst
Brandeburg Symphony version of it on cd


You say go to hell, but do you really mean it?  
I've been there, and I've lived throught it.  I 
lived in  hell for to many damned fuckin' years.  
You go to sleep, wake up, get dressed, go to 
school, get made fun of, pushed around, insulted.  
You go home and expect to be fine there, but get 
yelled at, thrashed by brother, father and the 
like beaten sensless or at least the threat of it.  
The only thing left you can possibly have that 
can't do anything back to you is the music that 
you listen to, and the stuffed animals that you 
hold as you cry yourself to sleep each night.  
Hell is where you have, or might have people who 
actually have people who care about you, but they 
don't live with you so you are constantly 
surrounded by unloving, ungrateful people who 
have nothing better to do than to yell at you and 
harass you and make your life even worse.  I wish 
I would just die, and I've said it a thousand 
times before, and I'm sure I'll probably say it a 
couple thousand more before I am relieved of this 
life in hell.  Whatever comes next must surely be 
better, for surely nothing can be worse.  The only 
one person who knows all your pain and suffering 
is the oneconstant in your life, the one stuffed 
animal who had no choice but to let you hold it 
and for some strange reason it seems to be the 
only one who understands you or ever could.  
Suicide?  No, I'd never do that, I am not as alone 
as I seem right now.  Besides, there HAS to be 
SOME reason fr this mortal toil and wait for the 
next beating to come, for surely it will.